imperfectmom

Sunday

2009-09-27T15:02:00.000-04:00

~~Laundry.~~
~~Chicken soup made.~~
~~Chicken casserole ready.~~
~~Have brother fix desktop.~~

~~Swiffer Floors.~~
~~Soccer.~~
Dinner.

What happened to lazy Sundays?

Imperfect Blogger

2009-09-16T12:49:00.002-04:00

Quite obviously, I am also an imperfect blogger. Three months without a single post. I promise it is not a result of laziness but rather being so busy that I feel like my head is spinning. However, just like any crazy person, I will not give up, I will continue to hold onto this blog, and always expect a different outcome.

Zoe Rides

2009-06-19T01:36:00.007-04:00

Zoe turned five last month. My princess, my angel, my only little girl. I thank God that I can still vividly remember checking to be sure that she was indeed a girl the moment she was born. I wanted a little girl so badly after having my boys, and there she was, this tiny little person, complete perfection, my little girl.

Having two older brothers has made her tough, but she is still sweet. She likes to play soccer, and catch with them. She likes to ride Bradley's skateboard. She like's to race them in the yard. But she is still fragile, still prissy, still sassy, and still cries with devastation when she scrapes her knees.

Last year we asked Zoe if she would like to take the training wheels off of her bike. She panicked and told us no. She didn't want to get hurt, and she was too afraid. This year was a different story. This year she surprised me. When Russell asked her this time, she said, "Yeah, can we take them off right now?" Within an hour, she had accomplished her task... no fear, no holding back, no training wheels...

Random Late Night Posting

2009-06-19T01:19:00.003-04:00

It's nearly 1:30 am. All of the kids are in bed asleep, as they should be. I let them stay up late tonight, past midnight. This allows for extra sleeping time in the morning. Jonah woke up a little while ago to nurse and I now have him laying on the couch out cold. I want to go to bed but I can hear Russell snoring quite loudly all the way down the hall and through a closed door.

I drank a few cups of coffee tonight after dinner so that I could have the energy to sweep and mop the floors. I noticed the tips of Jonah's toes were black earlier this afternoon from him scooting around in his walker. The sad part is he was only in his walker for a few minutes. That tells how dirty the floors really are. I shouldn't act surprised, I won't leave my bedroom without my flip flops on for fear of the icky sticky grainy dirt that will consume the bottoms of my feet.

Jonah is my fourth child and it has only recently been brought to my attention that walkers are supposedly a big "no-no". I choose to allow him a few minutes of cruising a day. He absolutely loves it and I will not take it away from him. When he starts to crawl and walk there will be no stopping that child. He loves to go, go, go! Speaking of crawling, for almost a week now, Jonah has been getting up on his knees and pushing his little butt up in the air during tummy time. He has scooted forward just a few times, and mainly scoots backward, but I know it's coming. And just like with all of his other milestones thus far, I greet it with a smile, then immediately want to cry. I do not want this baby to turn into a child so soon! He will be six months on the 30th. That is half of a year. Oh my gosh, that is half of a year!

They all grow up too quickly. My whole childhood was consumed with me wanting to grow up, it seemed it would never happen, then, I became a mom, and time started flying! I mean really just flying! Bradley is in middle school and talking about girls. Jarod is losing teeth and scabbing his knees while riding his bike. Zoe is learning to read and just had her training wheels taken off. Now, Jonah is learning to crawl. It's all whizzing past me so quickly that I am terrified I won't have the mental capacity to store it all.

What am I going to do?

10 Things Tuesday: Save Money

2009-06-09T09:07:00.003-04:00

Today I will share with you 10 things that my family does to help us save money. These things work great for us.

Laundry: As a family of six we have lots of laundry. We never wash small loads of clothes. We use cold water to wash saving energy. I had Russell build us a clothes line and I use that when the weather is warm, this saves energy by not using the dryer.
We reuse zipper bags, bread bags, grocery bags, and produce bags. These bags are good for more than one use. By doing this we are reducing waste and reducing the amount of money spent on zipper bags in particular, which can get pricey! I use the bread bags for many different things, like freezing pancakes for example. Just rinse the bags out with hot water and a drop or two of dish detergent and hang to dry.
I make my own baby food. Baby food is expensive. I save our family a lot of money by doing this. It takes just a couple hours of my time on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon and then my freezer is stocked with an array of colorful food cubes.
Use the air conditioner or heater only when truly needed. We open the windows and let the air in when the weather is nice. We generally won't run our AC until the temperatures reach 90 degrees. I know this won't work for everyone, but we truly see the difference in our electric bill when we do this. I should add that we do have ceiling fans in every room that make things a bit more comfortable.
Clip coupons. This is one I have only recently started. On Sundays I sit down and clip coupons. Then I compare the coupons to the current sales ads. I make a list of the "unbeatable deals" and at which stores they can be found. My last grocery shopping trip showed a savings of nearly $50. I managed to feed my family of six, including making baby food, for two weeks on $146.
Plan your menu! Impulse purchases at the grocery store were killing my budget. So, I sat down one Saturday afternoon and planned out a two week menu. I made my grocery list based on the unbeatable deals mentioned in #5 and the menu I had made. When I went to the grocery store I stayed focused on my list. This saved me time AND money.
Jiffy Baking Mix. Yes, a mix saves me time and money. This box of mix costs me less than $1.50. From this box I can make pancakes, biscuits, dumplings and more. With just those three things alone I have cut nearly $10 off of my grocery bill. I can make a huge batch of pancakes to freeze for my kids for quick breakfasts, and the same goes for biscuits. Just make the biscuits according to the box's directions and then freeze (before baking). Just like the frozen biscuits, but much cheaper! Just pop the frozen biscuits in the oven for breakfast, dinner, or a snack.
Buy second hand. I rarely buy any of our clothes brand new. I find that shopping at thrift stores and consignment shops works for us. No one knows, (until now!) that I only paid $3 for my Old Navy shorts! Just look for like new or gently used clothing.
Control the amount of sunshine coming in your windows. You can save on energy costs by opening and closing your blinds, shades, or curtains. In the winter I use open the window blinds so that the sun can help heat up the house, in the summer, I close them when the sun is brightest, keeping the heat out and the house cooler!
Purchase a water filter and reusable water bottles. I keep a Brita water pitcher filled with water in our refrigerator. Then I have quick and easy access to ice cold water for soccer, lunches, etc. Also, when our family seems to be drinking so much water that I can't keep the water chilled I put a pitcher of tap water into the refrigerator to chill that can just be emptied into the Brita pitcher when needed.

There you have it. Those are 10 things my family does. What does your family do?

Monday Morning

2009-06-08T08:41:00.002-04:00

It's Monday morning, again. The house is a mess and there is so much to do. Jonah has been sick with a cold and this has caused him to sleep even less than he usually does, which is not nearly enough. I was up nearly all of Saturday night and totally exhausted all day yesterday. The only thing I accomplished yesterday was four loads of laundry.

Since I was so tired I forgot to print out this week's chore chart and Jarod is already taking advantage. He is currently sitting on the couch, in his boxers, teeth unbrushed, empty tummy, watching cartoons. This does not look like a very good start to my week.

Perfection

2009-06-03T22:27:00.002-04:00

Complete perfection.

The Power of Positive Thinking

2009-06-03T20:29:00.004-04:00

Yikes! I let a whole week slip by without posting a single blog entry. I suck, I know. If you recall from my last post Up Late I was really stressed out about my kids being home for summer vacation, all, day, long! Well, I have to tell you that we are all handling it pretty well and I am contributing it to the power of positive thinking.

When I woke up last Wednesday morning I was feeling so anxious. I knew I needed to get the house in order so that we could get started on the right foot. I sat on the front steps sipping my coffee and told myself, "you can do this, these are your children, you can handle this!" I knew I had just five hours to get as much work as I could, done. And I did it!

I created a chore chart and a menu and printed them out to post on the refrigerator. I explained them both to the kids and even though I hit a few bumps with their attitudes of "working" during the summer I have not seen much resistance. They get up and do what they are supposed to do and the rst of the day runs so smoothly!

So for a solid week now I have gotten up, took my coffee to the front porch, sipped it slowly and talked myself into not letting them get the best of me. I am the one in control. I know what's best. I am the mother. The imperfect mom.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-27T10:33:00.001-04:00

Words can not express how much I will some day miss this...

Up Late

2009-05-26T23:02:00.002-04:00

It's 11 o'clock. I should be in bed sleeping, because that's what everyone else in my home is doing and I will surely be complaining that I am tired tomorrow. I just can not bring myself to go to bed, to end this peaceful quiet moment of bliss that I am enjoying.
Then, of course, I start thinking of all the things I could be doing rather than sitting on the computer, reading blogs and playing on Facebook. Why? Why do our minds always play this guilt trip on us? Are we not entitled to a bit of wasteful quiet time? Great, now I'm yawning, probably because I'm merely thinking about work...
Tomorrow is the last day of school for the older kids and I am positively terrified. I have already made up a printable chore chart and planned a few activities in my head. I do not want these kids sitting around rotting their brains all summer and if it were up to them that is exactly what they would do. I've promised them that they can set up a lemonade stand. I want to teach Zoe to read a book by the end of summer, this means having a weekly list of words that she will learn. I want to make plaster casts of their hands, make bird houses, and some other crafts.
I fear, once again, failure. I am always so scared to make plans and set goals because I always seem to fail myself when I do, yet, I push on, and keep making those lists. Oh well, it's what I do, right?
I seriously need to get my butt in gear. I need more energy, maybe more sleep. Maybe I should go to sleep. Maybe tomorrow I should revamp my determination... I'll let ya know how that goes.

A prayer and an email: Follow Up

2009-05-24T22:19:00.000-04:00

So after the email I sent to my father in law I didn't hear back. No big suprise. You can read about that here. That was about a month and a half ago.

Last night I had a dream that I got a text message from him saying "Guess What?", then I woke up. I didn't think anything of it. I have strange dreams all the time. I went about my day as usual. At about a quarter to seven this evening my phone goes off. A text message from Dad Glenn. I looked at Russell and said, "If this says "guess what", I am going to totally flip out!" I opened my phone...

Dad Glenn: how s every body happy holiday
It took me four minutes to decide to reply. I thought about just letting it go, not responding, let him lie in the bed he has made for himself. He is the one missing out on our sweet baby, his only grand child. I am a nicer and more forgiving person than that however...

Ang: Everyone is really good :)

Dad Glenn: thats good wish i could fix all the anger those boys (Russell and his brother) have but i cant kiss jonah 4 me

Ang: No one here is angry. Tried to talk to Linda (step mother in law) at Lowe's but she hurried away...
We ran into Linda at Lowe's a few weeks ago and she would not even look in the direction of baby Jonah, she left abruptly leaving me with my mouth hanging open mid word as she said "See y'all!"

Dad Glenn: she is very hurt by the boys she has all way been there 4 them and i have 2 stand behind her

Ang: Ok, I understand but I wish that didn't mean missing out on Jonah

Dad Glenn: have a nice holiday

Ang: You too

Nice, isn't that just perfectly nice? I never heard back from him. A few hours later Russell decided that he wanted to talk to his dad. He called him rather than text message him. They spoke briefly and agreed that we should get together tomorrow and try to work things out. I heard Russell say "I love you" as he was getting off the phone, he said his dad replied, "I love you too, buddy"

Russell and I have tried and tried to make contact with them. We've forgiven them. We've tried putting everything in the past and were just ignored. So maybe this can all be settled afterall?

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-20T08:17:00.003-04:00

Jarod, deep in thought.
(by the way, his finger nails are nicely trimmed now LOL)

Tackle It Tuesday: Fight the Frump!

2009-05-19T10:43:00.008-04:00

Today I am fighting the frump! There is a mirror at the end of my hallway that forces me to look at myself whenever I am heading to my bedroom. It occurred to me, "What if everyone had to see what I see in this mirror?" Ha, well, today you will. I can barely believe I am posting these pictures! My own personal makeover-

Before...

After a shower, blow drying, and hot rollers...

5 minutes of makeup...

Rollers gone, hair down...

End result. The hair is up because I have a 4 month old and am pretty busy. And yes, pigtails! Why? Because they are just so much FUN!!!

I challenge you to FIGHT THE FRUMP! You will feel better about yourself, and besides, no one wants to look like my first photo - yuck!

It's Still Edible, Right?

2009-05-18T22:25:00.004-04:00

6:18 pm, I just burned dinner because I had to nurse Jonah, who would not stop crying for anything other than my right boob. Russell is downstairs with Nick practicing and has made himself completely unavailable. I just know Brad is going to turn his nose up at the "over browned" (shhh, we won't tell him they are burnt!) fish fillets. The child will not eat anything toasted, not even bread. Since Jonah went to sleep I can finally cook the macaroni and cheese while the fish gets cold. Go Mom! It's still edible, right?

New Blog Layout

2009-05-18T11:09:00.002-04:00

New background, new colors, new third column. Is it too much? Please tell me what you think!

Persistence vs. Stupidity

2009-05-15T11:28:00.004-04:00

I've been thinking about this post for a little while now because I have been in such a funk. I am having a very hard time submitting to the idea that I can not, in fact, "do it all". I keep thinking that if I can just manage to get some solid sleep that I would have more energy and be able to do more things. I just don't know.

I like to sew. A couple months ago I got so frustrated that I never had time to sew that I set up an area in my laundry room just for the purpose. I was able to go down to the basement a couple of times to make a couple of things but that's it. So then I got upset because I could never escape long enough to finish anything, so I brought some essential tools and the sewing machine upstairs so that I could sew at the kitchen table. The sewing machine has been sitting next to the table, on the floor, for weeks. Russell came to me yesterday with a shirt he was wanting to get rid of and asked me if I wanted it for the material. I simply replied, "I don't sew".

I just honestly feel like everything I do, everything I touch, gets ruined. I can't remember appointments. I have been burning food. I have not been blogging. I haven't been keeping in touch with my friends or my family. Jarod's finger nails are starting to look like talons because I just have not had the time to cut them, or I forget to. What is wrong with me?

I keep at it, every single day. I think "today will be good, today is THE day, today I get myself back". And every day, I fail. I'm tired of failing but I can not give up! So my question is, when does persistence become stupidity? When do I give up? How stupid am I that I just keep trying and keep getting the same failing result? How many times until people look at me and just think I'm plumb crazy? I feel crazy. I really do. Then again, they say crazy people don't know they're crazy...

Slacky McSlackerton

2009-05-08T08:52:00.003-04:00

Oh yeah, that is definitely who I have been. Slack, slack, slacking! Well, that is not entirely true. I've been quite busy while not online. It's been a rough week. We started Jonah on solids per the pediatrician's suggestion. Being the type of mom that I am, and trying to save money when I can, I decided to make his food rather than buying the tiny jars or containers of the premade stuff.

I really enjoyed that. In my freezer I have bananas, apples, sweet potatoes, pumpkin, peas and pears. However, it's a good thing that they will keep there for three months because I just don't think my little guy's tummy is quite ready for all of this, even though his appetite says otherwise. It's heart breaking to see a four month old scream from being constipated. So, all in all, I have decided to wait just a bit longer and try again in a week or two.

Monday resulted in a trip to the emergency room for me. I have terrible problems with my teeth. It all started five years ago when I was pregnant with Zoe. Never had a problem until then, now I have a mouth riddled with cavities, broken teeth, and periodontal disease. I also do not have dental insurance and have a tremendous fear of going to the dentist. So bad that I will vomit because I get so worked up and nervous. Well, the pain I was experiencing on Monday was like nothing I have ever felt, and I have given birth to four children! My only solution was to go to the ER for meds. Got those, started feeling better, made a doctor's appointment for a dental referral, did that, now I have to make a dentist appointment. I'm not sure how long that will take me.

A few days ago Jonah decided it would be fun to bite down on mommy's nipples as hard as he can every time he nurses. He also decided that he would rather nurse from only the left breast. Let's just say I am one sore mommy!

But, alas, today is Friday. Another week is gone. My children are one week older, and so am I. Such is life...

Mr. Serious

2009-05-01T11:13:00.002-04:00

The Sweetest Heart

2009-04-30T09:00:00.000-04:00

Zoe is my only girl. She's the princess, for sure, but don't let her prissy little self fool you! She can often times hold her own when dealing with her older brothers. She also has a heart of gold. Last weekend I went to Goodwill to hunt for some summer clothes for myself and came across an old Caboodle. When I was a child I wanted one of these contraptions so badly, however, for one reason or another, I never got one. So here was this Caboodle, in perfect condition, and it was a big one, for only a buck-fifty. I had to get it. My first thought was how great it would be for Zoe's continually growing hair accessory collection.

I brought it home to my little princess and told her what it was for. We opened it up and I showed her the mirrors, and all the little compartments and gave her ideas of where she should put her different things. She was delighted! Then I told her how I had wanted one when I was a little girl but never got one. She looked at me with sad eyes, like she was sad that I did not get one when I was little. Then she said, "Mom, I want you to have my Cadoodle." I graciously declined telling her that I bought it for her and I wanted her to enjoy it. I was left amazed at her generosity as she walked down the hallway to her room. What an amazing little girl, with the sweetest little heart...

New Life, Outside My Window

2009-04-29T10:44:00.000-04:00

This robin’s nest is in a bush, right outside of my living room window. It also happens to be in a bush that is right beside the sidewalk, which is right beside where I park my van, and also right beside where we keep our trash can. Momma Robin scares the mess out of me several times a day, every single day. It’s quite funny, the way I jump and sometimes squeal when I have startled Momma Robin and she flies away from her nest in a frenzy. You would think that after a week of daily scares I would be used to it, but no, I jump, every time. There is no way for me to avoid scaring her, the poor thing. She built her nest so close to all the things I have to pass by or use every day. I am excited that very soon we will have baby robins right outside of our window! I hope I can snag some photos of those too…

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-29T09:58:00.002-04:00

My nephew (left) and my son (right) playing Nintendo DS.

Spring Break

2009-04-14T19:34:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was the beginning of Spring Break for my kids. Since I didn't really have the courage to even attempt a trip to my mother in law's or my mom's house for the week, where I know they would have a great time but I would go batty, I decided to invite my little brother and my nephew over for a few days. For a few days leading up to their visit I was getting a bit anxious and wondering why in the world I had decided that having 6 children ranging in age from 3 months to 15 yrs old was a good idea, but so far, its been great! They are all keeping each other busy and really enjoying each other's company.

Last night the three little ones decided they wanted to play Twister. I was deemed the "spinner". After a few spins I noticed they were all three having trouble with what was left and what was right. I quickly called a time out and grabbed my trusty Sharpie. On their feet are now the letters L & R. It was so cute to watch them look at their feet every time I called out an instruction...

When in doubt... help them out...

A prayer and an email

2009-04-10T10:07:00.002-04:00

I always pray to God to make me a better person. To guide me in the direction that He has planned for me. I pray that He will help me in my decision making. I pray that He will help me to be a better mom, a better friend, a better wife, sister, etc. Last night I prayed the same prayer.

Today I had an overwhelming urge to email my father in law about how I feel. There is an issue right now between him and Russell and quite frankly, it has nothing to do with me. In the meantime, Russell has told me that he does not want me or the kids to have anything to do with my in laws. In some ways, Russell is justified in his decision. In the time that I have known Russell's dad and step mom they have been nothing but good to me. I do not share the same feelings that Russell does about them. I have no reason to.

So, I emailed my father in law, and told him how I feel. Russell will probably be upset with me, but he will understand why I did it. I just hope I did the right thing. Maybe this will be the first step to recovery for them. Maybe.

To My Confession Mommies...

2009-04-09T23:04:00.000-04:00

I confess...

Some may think it is absurd to develop such a relationship over an internet connection. Those that think that way have never met any of you. In six short months I have shared my life with you. You have shared your life with me. We have empathized and sympathized, we've laughed, we've longed for, we've helped, we've shared, we've cried. I've come to know you, to love you, each of you. We share our trials, our tribulations, our memories, our antics, our quirks, our faults, our successes, our victories. We share these things with little or no doubt that we will be accepted for who we are, who we have been, and we will become, by the person on the other end of the connection. Any skepticism we may have about that is only from being burned by others in the past. Our pregnancies and our children have brought us together in such a way that each one of us is connected to the other. We've ceated a bond so great and so dear to my heart. It's as if we're standing in this huge circle, all holding hands. I can honestly say that I want nothing but the best for each and every one of you. I pray for your health, your happiness, and some days, your sanity. I'm so very fortunate to have found you. All my love...

History Lesson

2009-04-09T21:55:00.001-04:00

You wanna know about me huh? Well, you must, because you are indeed reading this. Let's see... My name is Angela. I have four beautiful kids. I have been married twice, yes twice, and am engaged to be married for a third (and final!) time. That's because I am head over heels in love with my guy - Russell.

I am originally from Chesapeake, VA but for now I call a little town named Farmville home. If you knew me once, or even if you know me now, living in a place like this is a bit interesting for me, to say the least. I come from a big mixed up and crazy family but I love them with my entire heart and wouldn't trade them for the world. I have 3 brothers, one step brother, one step sister, and my one and only sister, Lisa. I'm the oldest, and being the oldest means I have the most kids. YAY. I have an incredibly cute nephew, another due in June 09, and an adorable niece. My mom is my hero, hands down, for everything she is and has been.

Family is very very important to me. I am blessed to have these people in my life. I am also blessed to have my "adopted family". Those people include all of Russell's family. They have taken me in and accepted me (and my children) since day one. Even though I've been married twice before I have never felt this close to people that were not actually related to me. It's a very good feeling. So yay me for adding 3 more brothers, 2 more dads, 2 more moms, 2 more grandmas, and another grandpa.

I quit my quaint little secure job last year to stay at home with my kids and be the "perfect little housewife" Ha - domestication! What can I say? It's what I do! I love to cook, sew, create, etc etc. I'm good at it, and it makes me happy. I guess I'm a nurturer by nature.